Category Relationship

My #1 Fan

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Relationships have the potential to be one of the most euphoric feelings a person can experience. The idea of knowing that someone out in the world is thinking about you everyday and is always in your corner is a blissful feeling. Whether things are going good or bad in your life, that person always gives you reassurance that everything will be alright. When you feel down, they’re right there to pick you up. When you are slacking, they’re there to make sure you’re back up to par. This is what I call your #1 Fan.

Everybody needs that fan in their life to keep them on track of their goals. The support system that they provide sometimes is the boost that a person needs to continue to push forward. In basketball, players have millions of fans that cheer for them every night; but, players only really care about that one person who’s sitting court side at the game with their jersey on waving a poster with their name on it.

If you have a #1 Fan in your life, do your best to keep them and do right by them. Cherish their love and support because everyone is not fortunate enough to have one. In return, be a fan of theirs as well. Support each other during your pursuits of success. Relationships rely on foundation. Foundation relies on support. Support relies on love. Love your #1 Fan.

The Press

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If there was an official list of the Dos and Don’ts in a relationship, being clingy might fall into the #1 slot in the Don’ts category. Sure, it’s always okay to show affection for the person you care about; but, it’s totally different if you will not let them breathe! There is no need for you to be calling your girlfriend/boyfriend every other hour or texting them every other second. Sooner or later, that person is going to eventually get tired of you. I mean damn, do you have a life?

In basketball, the press is a way for players to disrupt or annoy the opposing team. In common cases, teams usually utilize the press strategy at the end of the game when they are desperate for the win. If a team presses early in the game, this typically means that they are: 1.) Really aggressive in the first place. Or 2.) deviating from their original game plan. With that being said, if you are the type of person who is aggressive and presses all the time and the person your with actually likes that, this post obviously is not for you. However, if you started off very chill in the relationship and all of sudden you became a clinger, you might be in some trouble. Once it feels like you are not being yourself and are pressing in a relationship, all signs point to your significant other eventually getting tired of you, then ultimately breaking up with your thirsty behind.

The key is to stick to the original method that attracted the person to you in the first place. There is no need to switch up your relationship tactics just because you see some things going south. Have a conversation and try your best to work things out. The moment you seem overly pressed and anxious in a relationship is the moment your relationship begins to die. Word to the wise.

Double or Nothing

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Thought this was forever no matter how far the distance.

But she was into Bad Boys like the ’89 Pistons.

We could’ve been like Monica and Quincy McCall.

But this here is real life, not Love & Basketball.

Karma’s crazy, but I can’t lie I think about you daily.

Just understand you let go of a good man baby.

Time to leave you in the past, and this time I ain’t bluffing.

So if you ever come running back, don’t expect double or nothing.

Rebound

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There are times when life can take a toll on an individual’s mind, body, and spirit. Not just due to relationships, but just the every day grind can wear on a person’s psyche to the point where they feel like they can’t go on. This feeling always seems to arise when we fail at something. We tend to doubt ourselves when things don’t go our way and are faced with hardships.

Basketball players go through a long 82-game season and are faced with a plethora of difficulties on the way. They have to learn how to adapt and adjust their mindset in order to stay focused on the game. Starting today, instead of dwelling on the bad in your life, try focusing on the good. Only then will you be able to truly rebound. Here’s an acronym that can maybe help you out:

R – Rejuvenate your mind.

E – Explore your talent.

B – Believe in yourself and your decisions.

O – Obliterate doubt.

U – Understand everything happens for a reason.

N – Navigate life confidently.

D – Dream BIG.

Fastbreak

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“Slow down.”

“This is moving too quickly.”

“I’m not ready.”

Who has ever heard those phrases above while interacting with the opposite sex? If you have, you probably are guilty of exactly what I will talk about in this post. Attempting to understand the pace of how and when to move in a relationship can get very tricky. There are times where a person should take things slow and try to get to know the person they’re interested in on a stronger level. On the other hand, there are also times where you should put your foot on the gas pedal and not be so timid. The key is to find an even balance of the two so that a relationship does not become stale and stagnant.

In basketball, the fast break is one of the more common strategies players utilize within the sport. Fast breaks occur when players try to score in the least amount of time they can. It’s easy, up-tempo, and brings a sense of thrill to the game. Although very exciting, fast breaks aren’t effective if a player is out of control. Being out of control results into missed shots, turnovers, and ultimately losing the game. It’s not always wise to try to score fast because there might be better opportunities to be successful if you relax, run a patient offense, and just take your time.

There has to be an internal clock in a man’s head when the time is right to run the fast break offense with your girl; but, the key is to build a solid foundation with her first. Connect with her on a mental level and develop a mutual comfort that you have with each other. As easy as it is to try to rush things, that could easily backfire on you in a split second. Be smart, be a gentleman, play it cool, and let things happen naturally. Once a man does that, he won’t even have to think about whether or not to go into fast break mode; she probably will initiate it before he does.

Practice

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I’m going to assume that most of my readers are in their college years and of the 18-24 year old demographic. If not, flash back to that age for a second as you follow along with this post. How many times have you met someone and you just knew they were the one? That feeling where love at first sight struck you so intensely to the point where you were determined to make that person yours at any cost. Then once the relationship finally kicks off, you become so enamored with the person to the point you’re blind to all the other 3-4 billion people of the opposite sex that exist on the planet… Well I’m here to tell you that you made a dumb decision. Well, maybe dumb is a bit harsh, let’s go with an uneducated decision.

People in their college years are still finding out who they are let alone finding out who they want to be with. Quite frankly, I probably am not even qualified to talk about love. I am a 21 year old, single male at Howard University, a school where beautiful and intelligent women grace my presence every single day. I created a blog about love and I most likely haven’t encountered half the experiences I’ll have with women in my lifetime. If anything, this is a lust blog! (just kidding). But on a serious note, I’ve been a witness of many cases where people settle down too early in their life before they even got a chance to learn what they like. In the end, you are cheating yourself from meeting a lot of amazing people.

In order to be great in the sport of basketball, a person must value this one term — practice. It’s essential to perfect your craft in practice so that when you get in the game everything is second nature. Practice is where players learn what moves work for them and what types of shots they like and don’t like. Altogether, it allows people a chance to enhance themselves into an overall better player than they were before. The same concept goes for relationships. Maybe the failed relationships that you had in the past were just you subliminally practicing for the person you will eventually meet and love. When things don’t work out with a person, view that experience as you getting better for the next one. That relationship may have taught you things that you can carry into the next romance that you have in the future. It took me a while to understand this concept, but it’s nothing but the truth. Everybody can’t be Allen Iverson, we all need a little practice to reach our full potential.

Matchup

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From the first time I saw her, my eyes were instantly blessed.

Palms sweating, stomach turning. Yeah, y’all know the rest.

So I asked her “what’s your name?” with my heart beating through my chest.

I just knew in her mind she was thinking “damn, this boy is pressed!”

But I guess she was impressed with the way I used my jest.

I made her laugh and she had a smile that was better than the rest.

She wasn’t used to a man that stared at something other than her breasts.

Even though I was, don’t tell her, that’s something I won’t confess.

Now I call her my lady, and that feeling is the best.

Finally got someone on my team that eases all the stress.

Finding the perfect matchup is like a game of chess.

It’s just up to you to play the game and figure out who’s the best.

Timeout

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Girl: I really care about you, but I just need some space right now.

Boy: I know we’ve had problems in the past, but we’ve always gotten through them. Let’s just work this out.

Girl: I understand that. You know I love you and I don’t want you to leave my life. But I think we just need to take a break.

Boy: BrZw5YXCcAA9ajo

Unlike a timeout in basketball, BREAKS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT EFFECTIVE. In fact, breaks actually make matters worse between you and the person you’re dealing with. Contrary to popular belief, once you and your girl decide to take a break the likelihood of you two getting back together are probably slim to none. Let’s be real, if the person really cared about you they would be putting in just as much effort as you to make it work no matter how difficult the problems you are facing.

The time used during a “break” could easily be used to fix the problem that is occurring in the relationship. Instead, people would rather use that time to explore other options or use the cliché phrase “find themselves.” When a team calls a timeout in basketball, they use that time to regroup, game plan, and strategize on how to be successful as a unit. They don’t use that time to think about getting traded to another team or get distracted by that beautiful celebrity that’s sitting court side at the game. Timeouts are effective when a team bands together rather than apart and the time is used to right the wrongs they committed in the past so they could be better in the future.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re not happy with the person you’re with, by all means break up. Call it all the way off, don’t leave a glimpse of hope, and just leave. That’s genuinely the most healthy thing you can do for yourself and the person you’re dealing with. Timeouts are not necessary if you do not have a plan of action as a team for the future. Therefore, do not settle for a “break.” Either be persistent enough to continue as a unit or be strong enough to ball by yourself dolo.